Here’s something I’ve been thinking about today –
I’m the youngest woman in this office. I think it’s safe to say that the second youngest works in our graphics department and she’s pretty much holed in there, so people don’t really see her much. I think she’s pretty, but that’s neither here nor there, I suppose. I however, sit in the middle of the office hallway, and see everybody, and everybody sees me. When I got offered this job back in November, I got really excited and bought all these business clothes. Skirts, suits, typical office fare. I had some outfits that would double in the office (dresses and things) and I was excited that they would work in an office setting too.
The thing that worries me is, some of the shirts are v’ed. Now, some of the other women in my office wear things that are just as low, and have quite a bit more to show off than I do, however, they’re older, have more job security, are married, and what have you. My concern is that, if I wear something with the same cut, am I going to be judged on my age and um, “perkiness?” I’m not hanging out, if you ask me, I’ve pretty much got the body of a teenage boy. But more than once I’ve gotten compliments on my outfits, and I guess I just want to make sure they’re genuine, as in, “wow, she’s always so fashionable,” and not “oooh, I wonder what kind of underwear she’s wearing.” Is this normal or am I completely deranged? Or, does this make me sound totally conceited?
So, I’m caught in this weird dichotomy because, of course I want to dress nice and have people compliment me. I think it’s safe to say that everyone wants that. And, honestly, I don’t even mind getting that kind of attention, at least a little. It’s empowering. I just don’t want to be getting all the attention for that reason. I want people to recognize that I’m good at my job.
College hardly prepares you for working in a conservative office setting. So many instances when I have to hold my tongue when I really wish I could say what I want to.