Put it out into the universe

Jun 20, 2011 | Uncategorized

I’m kind of fond of the idea that whatever you put into the universe is what you get back. That said, I’m putting positive vibes into the universe that, no matter what, even if I don’t end up getting accepted into the master’s program that I applied for, I will still somehow manage to attain my goal of becoming a teacher.

I re-took the GRE today for a second time. I got plenty of sleep, I ate a good breakfast, I studied. I did do better than the first time, but still didn’t do as well as I’d hoped.  I’m trying to stay really positive about the whole thing, because I studied and DID do better the second go-round, but ultimately, I’m still not that great at multiple choice tests. I never have been. I either know the material, or I don’t.

Anyway. On the drive home I started wondering if I should still apply to the program despite my lower-than-expected score, and keep my fingers crossed that my resume, professional statement and recommendation letters have more depth than a couple of numbers.Will the committee see that I took the test twice? That has to account for something, right?  I guess my biggest fear now is all this preparation just to read, “We regret to inform you yada yada yada.” That’s just a hit to the gut that I’m not ready to take. I have never been happier with certain aspects of my life, but being a SAHM is just not fulfilling my life completely. I absolutely love being a mom, but I’m ready for a career. Something to share with the world.

I do have some options, thankfully. I can get certified in a specific county. It costs far less and I would still make some decent connections. But I don’t know how long finding a job would take if I go that route. Or, I could hold off for another while and get a job doing something else entirely, just to get me out of the house. I’m not really sure.

I mostly just wanted to update to let my five readers know that yes, I am alive. And despite the score, I have a lot to be proud of.

1 Comment

  1. Connie Baechler

    Hi Ashley, I know we talked about your first GRE scores right before I left for Portugal, and I wanted to say kudos to you for stepping up and taking that puppy again! As much as I love English, my score on (of all things!) the Regents’ exam wasn’t a perfect four because I didn’t have a great flair for timed topic-given-on-the-spot (and at the crack of dawn!) tests. I do think the admissions committee will look at all the components of your application, and I want you to go back some gooey dessert you like in anticipation of that yes to come! Either way, you’ve already said “yes” to yourself, and I am proud of you.