This morning I said hello to 27 years at 5:15am when I first heard Grayson making noise. At first I was irritated, but after a moment I realized that this is my first birthday after having been blessed with him, so I softened. I still didn’t go in there, because 5:15 is damn early, but I tried to go back to sleep.
Didn’t work. But I started thinking about all the people I’d hear from today on my facebook wall. People I haven’t spoken with in ages, but will see the little “Ashley has a birthday today. Write on her wall” reminder in the right and they’ll do it for some reason or another. One part of me, as the South Park episode last week deemed my “cynical assholism”, kind of wishes that people would just leave me alone. If we haven’t spoken, then there’s no real reason you need to wish me a happy birthday. Really, there just isn’t. But the other far less hardened part appreciates the time, even if it just takes 5 seconds to type out “happy birthday”, because they thought to.
I’m twenty-seven years old. Somehow, it looks really old when I type it out longhand. By next year, I hope to be into my graduate program at Kennesaw State, with a few more memorized recipes under my belt and a little more acceptance for the things I can’t change. The other day when I was coming to pick up Grayson from my mom, her neighbor and good friend Kathleen paused and looked at me for a moment and said, “My God, you are looking more and more like your mom every day.” Which, if you’ve met her, wouldn’t be such a bad thing. (I got good genes to look forward to, woo!)
Anyway. I am so grateful to have met all the people who’ve made a positive difference in my life. I’m thankful for my beautiful friends, especially the ones who’ve stuck around now that I have a babbling appendage. I’m thankful for Oscar, who calms me down after the most insane of days — when I want to strangle the dog and the house is a mess and I didn’t have time to make dinner because Grayson was being difficult. Those days. My parents and in-laws are some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever grown to love, and I owe many sane moments over the last 10 months of Grayson’s life to them.