Ok, you guys…I accepted a full-time job offer. There. Done. Phew.
I didn’t want to say yes at first, but I realize that for now, this is the best choice:
1.) Because I can continue doing Literally Efficient on the side. Nobody is keeping me from doing so, and I can still seek out clients at a pace that allows me to breathe and not worry where my next check is coming from.
2.) I need something to do. Desperately. Again, when the time comes (because I’m certain it will happen), I can eventually do Literally Efficient full-time if I’m at home with babies down the road. But for now, I’m going a little ape-y having nothing to do. There’s only so much cleaning a house can take before a girl goes a little mad.
3.) I felt so guilty for not bringing in a full-time paycheck. I realize this is something I have to get over myself (I carry around sackfuls of guilt on a regular basis, but that’s a different story altogether), but every time I took a step forward with Literally Efficient I had to take two back. I felt like I was being punished for creating a start-up at the worst possible economic time.
4.) I was scared. Scared because I want my business to work. The drive is there, the commitment is there, but I have no regular customers (not yet, anyway). The idea of going back to an office atmosphere makes me squirmy and I hate feeling like I’m settling. Consequently, everyone else says it’s not settling, it’s being responsible. Actually, I think the word “settling” makes the feeling exponentially worse. So, instead of the word “settling,” I’ll stick with the word “repositioning.”
I admit that I’m my worst critic. Nobody else is saying, “You need to do this” except me, and the artistic, idealistic side of me is screaming, “Nooo! Don’t dooo iiit!“
But above all things, I want to raise a family, and financially, I’d like to be able to not drop the kids at an all-day daycare if I don’t have to. It’s just what I’d prefer.
The great thing is, this company is being very lenient on my start date, which will give me plenty of time to finish up my summer projects with Connie before her big move. It’s a small company, only about 9 employees, and I’ll be the admin for the entire office. It’s half as far as my old trek to Buckhead, and a much more laid back atmosphere. No stuffy business-suits (or not nearly as many). Plus, my new co-workers are so…they’re so…well, nice.
So there it is.
Until then, I have a relaxing beach trip to enjoy, more housecleaning to do, and a dear friend to help move across the country.